Not long ago, Pittsburgh’s dreadful (but occasionally amusing) Trib PM newspaper ran a bit in its sports section titled “Fallback Careers: Shamed stars Clemens, Bonds receive unusual job offers”—both Clemens and Bonds are free agents this winter, and neither have any hope of playing in the majors again, but both have received offers. From minor league baseball teams, no less.

The Roger Clemens one wasn’t that interesting: The AA-level team in Huntsville, Alabama (a major NASA and rocketry-in-general site) has offered the pitcher occasionally known as “Rocket” the job of portraying the team’s mascot, also known as Rocket. Meh.

However, the Barry Bonds one is great, though it requires a bit more knowledge of his history.

Barry received an offer to work in media relations for the Single-A Lake Elsinore (Calif.) Storm.

The team sent out a tongue-in-cheek statement announcing the club has offered Barry “a cushy media relations position (with slight pay cut from $19.3 million), full use of baseball facilities and, of course, expanded cubicle space with barcalounger and plasma TV.”

“We just think the way he has handled the media with such grace over the years that he would be a perfect fit in our media relations department,” Storm general manager Chris Jones said.